Profile of our Neno...

We have come to refer to our donor as Neno, because of the number he was given as the sperm donor. We have grown quite fond of this man we don't even know, because of the gift he has given us in helping us make our little family a little bigger with our new addition. We can't wait to meet Finnian and see what she looks like and see how much she looks like Shannon. The interesting part will be to see how much she doesn't. These will be the characteristics that she will have inherited from Neno. 

When we chose our donor, we were looking at the OHSU donor site. We were looking at the page in separate locations, and we both had decided to pick someone most similar to me, in all characteristics that we possibly could. We each picked three of them. All three that we picked were the same. My second choice was her third, and her second choice was my third. Our first choices were Neno, having been independent of each other when we were looking at it, but we were both happy that it worked out that way!

A few things that really stood out for us were his back ground, which is a mix of European and native ethnicities like mine. We are both a good Heinz 57 mix, so that was perfect. We also both have brown hair and eyes. He is a lot taller than I am, but that is ok. We are both athletic, nerdy, have strong visuo-spacial thinking, into music and art, love to read, are both right handed, have good eye sight, and many other things. He probably has a bit more arm and chest hair than I do, and his beard grows a bit more than mine. He is a non-smoker and has dimples and potters thumb. He finds himself thoughtful, caring, self-reliant, helpful, likable, and funny.

He describes himself a lot like I would describe me, in that he enjoys being with friends and family, but also enjoys his down time. He likes being in social situations with his friends where it is comfortable for him. He is very outgoing to people around him. He enjoys cooking and trying new things. People are easily drawn to him. He did very well on the Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis which tests personality characteristics, as well. He does tend to be a little impulsive, but who isn't.

Another thing that I really liked about him was that he included a poem by Khilil Gibran in his profile.

And a woman held a babe against her bosom and said, "Speak to us of Children."

And He said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house for tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that

His arrow may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

The last thing that I really liked about Neno's profile was the "Kid Page" that he filled out. This guy was a lot like me when I was little. Playing outside, playing with Legos, running around until the street lights came on to signal it was time to home. His favorite vegetable was green beans! He played with Legos because of the infinite possibilities. I remember being a little one and playing with them all the time. Building everything I could imagine, tying yarn on them to make electric wires for my cities, or gondolas for the mountains. I would build bunkers for my G.I.Joes. It was awesome. Neno also played soccer, and chess. He read the book White Fang. He remembers his dad watching TV late at night, like mine did (does), and playing with grasshoppers in the yard, and tunneling in the blackberry bushes. He has a lot of good childhood memories, and reading his kid section made me remember a lot of similar experiences I had as a kid. I can't wait to share them with Finn

It's because of Neno we will get to share those experiences. I will be forever thankful to him for being a donor and giving us this opportunity to be parents to our little one. He said he only did it for financial reasons, and that is ok. He may never know the gift he has given us, and that is ok, too. But he really has made a remarkable difference in our lives, and I am sure the lives of some other people, as well. We have a family because of him.

Thank you, Neno, whoever you are.