Bonding time!

Written February 9th....


On January 31^st, Shannon sent me an email asking if I could go to lunch. I asked why, and the response was “I thought we could talk about how to decorate the nursery.” She is pregnant! It worked! I am going to be a dad! We are going to be parents! There are so many thoughts and emotions going through my body, and there have been since the day I found out. I have experienced everything from sheer joy to sheer panic. My reality has almost set in, and now I am just trying to enjoying the ride. I still get moments of “holy crap, I am going to be a parent” but I know it will be ok.

It is funny how things change so quickly. Not two weeks before we found out, we were getting ready to attend our first adoption class. The day before that class is the day we went in for the insemination where we had the Dragon Lady of Doctors do the honors. Actually, I did the honors, but she did the work to get to the point, so I guess we can’t be too mad at her, though we will be discussing bed-side manner with our provider next time we get to see her.

We were ready to take on a kid from the system and give them a home, give them our love and be the best we could for them. Now, we put that on hold. We haven’t given up on adopting; we just know it wouldn’t be fair to a kid to bring them into our home at this point when we are expecting a birth child. When the time comes, we will go back and explore the possibility again.

I find it fascinating that our little sprout is growing so fast and just a mere few weeks after the little sperm and little egg attached to each other, the little cells are already forming and the heart is almost ready to take its first beats, and the brain is already forming. It is amazing. Our little sprout is growing and it’s happening so fast. I can’t wait to greet him/her and be there to welcome him/her to the world.

I also find it fascinating that I am already so in love with someone I haven’t even met yet. I don’t even know what Sprout looks like and already I feel so much love and want to do everything in my power to keep him/her safe at all costs. It is quite an amazing feeling to have. I would do anything for this little person I don’t even know.

I’m finally going to know what it feels like to hold a tiny hand…and I can’t wait!